20 Comments

Oh Jessica- this is achingly beautiful!

I am gobsmacked by this essay. I think I have just been blown away, and I need time to recover. You’re talented. So over the top talented! I’m going to come back and visit this episode again later. I love how bark grows like lace on your shoulders. ❤️❤️❤️ WOW!

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Oh goodness, thank you so much, Dana!! I'm glad it connected with you. ❤️

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Hi Miss Jessica- Havent heard from you in a few weeks. Hope all is well. I miss your blogs! xo

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Jess, your words are incredible beautiful and so very resonate. Coupled with your incredible voice and ability to narrate in way that deeply moves me with your words, I find myself in a puddle of tears. So thankful for your shares and to know you in this crazy online world.

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Thank you, my dear friend! I'm so grateful to know you. <3

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Oh my goodness, I saved this piece to return to. I absolutely am all of those contradictions at once in motherhood. All of the things all at once: too much and never enough, all simultaneously. <3

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Thank you, Shannon. <3 I'm glad we are alongside each other.

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Wow. I love all the things you unpack in this essay -- the forest as a welcoming place, all the complexities of motherhood. This line in particular got me: "The forest has a way of reminding me who I am. Its rustling is a gift, a permission to shed my various skins and simply be." So true, for me too. The cookies look incredible. I am going to try making them with the girls soon! <3

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I'm glad you're on this journey with me, friend. ❤️ Let me know how they turn out!

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This essay is wonderful. ♥️ I relate to so much of it - wanting to curl up on my Mum's lap to cry in peace, wanting some responsible grown-up to tell me what to do for the sheer relief of not having to hold it all myself, the tension leaving my body among the trees, being slowly drained out of me through my soles as I walk between the roots and ferns. All of it is so beautifully expressed in your writing.

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Thank you, Anna. I'm so glad you could connect with those things.❤️

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Hi Jess,

Thank you for this piece! I agree with the others; it is incredibly well-written and oh so very topical (even for someone who does not have littles).

The pressures of today are often too much to handle but we soldier on. The 100mph sentiment is loud in my ears (and, I am sure, in the ears of others). Striving for more, more and more is getting out of control. Lots of it, in my opinion, stems from social media and the endless messages about 'hustle life', flashy cars and big houses. People celebrate their successes - nothing wrong with that - in rather overt ways which, hard as you may try, are impossible to block out. Comparisons are inevitable even for the thickest - skinned. The pretence that people's lives are perfect - going back to your point about it - is, I hope, becoming exposed. It may be attainable for celebrities or people whose job is to document re-decorating their house or clearing out their wardrobe, but for the rest of us, with regular 9-5 jobs (who am I kidding? It is 7-6 really, or worse) and / or the responsibility of kids, it is an impossibility.

The idea that we can:

- get up early enough to start the day slowly

- enjoy our cup of coffee, on the veranda and listening to birds chirp (but also be online by 7am)

- have eight hours of sleep and not eat carbs after 8pm (but also have a social life: 'Come on, go for that drink!')

- sign up and attend yoga classes once or twice a week (preferably, in the morning and sometime before your coffee and logging on at 7am), do some cardio and weights (but also sit on the sofa and watch that programme everyone is talking about)

- journal / take a breather (but also think about that promotion at work; you should probably do a diploma of sorts in work or your own time)

- speak to your friends and your family, regularly check up on them (but have time to yourself...stop texting)

- walk your dogs morning and evening (the morning walk should take place between getting up, going to your yoga class, having your coffee on the veranda and your login time of 7am..good luck! The evening walk should be done between logging off, cooking dinner and / or going for that drink but before 10pm as ..err...you need 8 hours of sleep! Good luck...)

- clean your house (on the weekend, if you somehow -- and I do not know how that possibly could be -- run out of time during the working week, when you are meant to be 'relaxing')

- do laundry (every free minute of every damn day)

- take other living creatures -- or yourself -- to the doctors or vets (whenever)

- go to a cultural event, maybe an art exhibition or the ballet (at least once a month! You have to broaden your horizons)

in 24h a day / during a normal week is ridiculous...This list is not even exhaustive.

P.S. Apologies about the rant!

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Thank you, Siya! No need to apologize for the rant - believe me, I get it. I think it's why I take intermittent breaks (sometimes longer) from social media, being online, texting, etc., and focus on being more present to my own desires. They get so easily muted underneath what society proclaims is necessary, but is usually not. Today I will unplug for the most part, it's bitterly cold but I hope to get us outside for long enough to say, "Crap! It's effing cold!" and get everyone back in again. 😆 That is mostly to say we can be in charge of slowing down our lives. I look forward to doing more of that with you! ❤️

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Fab plan, Jess. It is not as cold as it seems to be over there but I have a couple of writing projects on the go which I should really focus on :) Staying in and maybe switching off the wi-fi it is :)

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I feel these contradictions and the tension. I once heard that there are “problems to be solved and tensions to be managed” and it’s been helpful to me to remember that tensions don’t always have to be solved. Can’t wait to try the recipe!

Love your writing and reflection!

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Thank you, Valerie! ❤️ I love that. Going to stash it away - it's such a good reminder. We're so often trying to figure it out or how to make it better/go away. Living in the tension without having to solve it is a relief, isn't it? (Let me know what you think of the cookies!)

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Your words are a gift to me, Jess!

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Friend! Thank you. ❤️

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Oh, I relate so much to so many of these contradictions. And I love the image of uneven shorelines. Also can’t wait to try this chocolate chip cookie recipe!

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Thank you, Laura. I so appreciate your words. Oh girl - they are taaaaasty. Let me know what you think!

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